Published: 19/05/2009 00:00 -
Updated: 29/01/2010 13:08
I HAVE recently discovered something harder than plaiting urine, lifting a church, and understanding the off-side rule all rolled in to one. Keeping goldfish alive.
You might remember from previous blogs that our last foray in to the hideously complicated world of fish-keeping ended in horror, heartache and 19 dead goldfish.
It was expensive and depressing and it took a while for us to summon up the courage to kill more fish. It was last month, in fact, a year in to owning our house, that we took the plunge again.
We thoroughly cleaned the tank out, scrubbed the filter, changed the weeds and hoovered the gravel and then popped to Pets at Home with a jar full of treated tank-water to get it tested.
It passed with flying colours so we decided to grab a few more victims. Sorry, fish. Two fantails called Peter and Jane. Or, to be more correct, Peter the Third and Jane the Third.
Two weeks later the little troopers were still alive! We were so delighted that we celebrated by buying two more while out on a day trip (see last blog).
Spangle the Second and Jaws the Fifth settled in quickly and our cavernous 3ft tank was starting to look much more exciting than it did for all the months it stood empty.
That was until one evening when Jane started looking a bit perky. She'd not been her usual chirpy self and suddenly, during a film, stopped breathing. A sure sign of death, according to fish experts.
This knocked our fish replacement programme back by a couple of weeks, but when our next water test came out tickety-boo we got the pet shop to pick us out Jane the Fourth and a couple of insanely ugly fish we named after some friends in Kent - Lisa and Wes. The Second.
As I type this they're all alive. Or they were when I last looked. They could be floating lifeless for all I know.
The point is that keeping goldfish is damned expensive, ridiculously complicated and time consuming and can be thoroughly depressing.
When you get the complex balance of chemicals, light, food, filtration and algae control absolutely right they are great fun to watch and can be a rewarding pet but gone are the days when you can win a fish in a bag at a funfair and keep it in a jar of water for several years without it batting an eyelid.
It's bizzare, but the rabbit - which chews the rug, rapes balloons, pees on our newspapers, tears at the washing basket and leaves pellets all over the floor when Lizzy's at home - is far less trouble than the fish.
You might remember from previous blogs that our last foray in to the hideously complicated world of fish-keeping ended in horror, heartache and 19 dead goldfish.
It was expensive and depressing and it took a while for us to summon up the courage to kill more fish. It was last month, in fact, a year in to owning our house, that we took the plunge again.
We thoroughly cleaned the tank out, scrubbed the filter, changed the weeds and hoovered the gravel and then popped to Pets at Home with a jar full of treated tank-water to get it tested.
It passed with flying colours so we decided to grab a few more victims. Sorry, fish. Two fantails called Peter and Jane. Or, to be more correct, Peter the Third and Jane the Third.
Two weeks later the little troopers were still alive! We were so delighted that we celebrated by buying two more while out on a day trip (see last blog).
Spangle the Second and Jaws the Fifth settled in quickly and our cavernous 3ft tank was starting to look much more exciting than it did for all the months it stood empty.
That was until one evening when Jane started looking a bit perky. She'd not been her usual chirpy self and suddenly, during a film, stopped breathing. A sure sign of death, according to fish experts.
This knocked our fish replacement programme back by a couple of weeks, but when our next water test came out tickety-boo we got the pet shop to pick us out Jane the Fourth and a couple of insanely ugly fish we named after some friends in Kent - Lisa and Wes. The Second.
As I type this they're all alive. Or they were when I last looked. They could be floating lifeless for all I know.
The point is that keeping goldfish is damned expensive, ridiculously complicated and time consuming and can be thoroughly depressing.
When you get the complex balance of chemicals, light, food, filtration and algae control absolutely right they are great fun to watch and can be a rewarding pet but gone are the days when you can win a fish in a bag at a funfair and keep it in a jar of water for several years without it batting an eyelid.
It's bizzare, but the rabbit - which chews the rug, rapes balloons, pees on our newspapers, tears at the washing basket and leaves pellets all over the floor when Lizzy's at home - is far less trouble than the fish.
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